SPEAK UP!!!

Sexual Assault is a real thing, and people NEED to be more aware. It's a real problem... no it may not be as relevant as things such as pollution or racism, however it's still something important that people should know about.

What is it?

“Sexual assault” is any unwanted sexual, physical, verbal, or visual act that forces someone to have sexual contact against his or her will. It’s motivated by the need to control, humiliate, and harm. Some examples are: harassment, rape, incest, oral sex, molestation, forcing someone to pose for pictures, and unwanted touching.

What is rape?

It’s a specific type of sexual assault. It involves any forced, manipulated, or coerced penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth by a penis or other object. It is not a crime of passion. It’s a crime of violence—often used to scare or degrade the victim. It’s a common misconception that sexual assault and rape are perpetrated by strangers. Most survivors know their perpetrators. According to Bureau of Justice statistics, 60 percent of survivors are assaulted by an intimate partner, relative, friend, or acquaintance. This rate is even higher for women who were assaulted or raped in college.

What is consent?

Sexual activity requires consent, which is defined as clear, unambiguous, and voluntary agreement between the participants to engage in specific sexual or nonsexual activity. Consent is an enthusiastic, clearly communicated and ongoing yes. Consent is a clear “yes” to your partner, not the absence of a “no.” It’s not okay to assume that once someone consents to an activity, they are consenting to it anytime in the future as well. As LoveisRespect puts it, “Whether it’s the first time or the hundredth time, a hookup, a committed relationship or even marriage, nobody is ever obligated to give consent just because they have done so in the past. A person can decide to stop an activity at any time, even if they agreed to it earlier.”

Nonconsensual sex is rape. A person who is substantially impaired cannot give consent.

Consent is NOT:

Pressuring or guilting someone into doing things they may not want to do

Making someone feel like they “owe” their sexual partner something — because they’ve engaged in an activity in the past, because they’re dating, because they expressed a desired to do that activity earlier in the night, or because one person gave the other a gift, etc.

Reacting negatively (with sadness, anger or resentment) if someone says “no” to something, or doesn’t immediately consent.

Ignoring a sexual partner’s wishes, and not paying attention to nonverbal cues that could show you’re not consenting (ex: pulling/pushing away).

When does rape or sexual assault occur?

Rape and sexual assault can happen at any time. However: Most victims of rape and sexual assault are females younger than 24. Forty-two percent have been raped before age 18. As for guys, researchers estimate that 1 in 6 men experience unwanted or abusive sexual contact before age 18.

Where can I get help?

In an emergency, call 911. For counseling, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline for free counseling, 24 hours a day: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). The call is anonymous and confidential unless you choose to share personally identifying information. You’ll be connected to your local rape crisis center and an advocate may be able to meet you at the hospital. You can also chat online in English and Spanish. Find detailed resources here.

To learn how to help someone in an abusive relationship or to get help for yourself, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

For more information on rape and sexual violence services, contact RAINN—the Rape Abuse Incest National Network at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) or by secure, online private chat HERE.

For teens and youth, call 1-866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522 or live chat at www.loveisrespect.org.

To find more information regarding male survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence, check out Men Can Stop Rape’s Resources for Male Survivors. Men who may have had unwanted or abusive sexual experience in childhood, family members, friends, and partners of men who may have had those experiences can also use the 1in6 Online SupportLine—a free, confidential, and secure service—to get help.

For more information for survivors, friends, and family, visit NO MORE.

Situations:

My friend was assaulted at a party while drunk, and she's blaming herself. How can she get supported?

Drugs or alcohol are often used to compromise someone’s ability to consent to sexual activity. It’s not your friend’s fault. L The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network has explicit suggestions and resources for coping if you’ve experienced sexual assault while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

My friend was assaulted and I'm struggling with how to offer support. What can I do?

The best thing to do is to listen without judgment and provide help when needed. Here’s a more detailed list of helpful responses for friends and family.

https://nomore.org/10-questions-sexual-assault-embarrassed-ask/